I found myself sitting there thinking as I have done so many times before “I’m sick and tired of being so tired!” And I think to myself, this can’t be all life is… Is my life really going to be me waking up, pushing myself to function like a normal human but feeling tired all the while, then going to bed and getting hours and hours of sleep which does nothing to energise or replenish? It’s a glass-half-empty view, but possibly an accurate one.
I am taking a long hard look at myself, at my life at the moment. I realised that in 50 years, I don’t want to look back at my life and only see anxiety and depression. I don’t want to be held back by it (or any other of my collection of health issues) anymore than necessary. My low mood and fatigue seem to be dominating my life, and that doesn’t seem fair.
But the thing is, life just carries on. Life will just pass me by if I don’t take an active part. I can spend my life hating myself and feeling sorry for myself that things aren’t how I want them to be. Or, I can start making small changes to help myself.
Obviously, I’m not saying I can just get rid of my anxiety and depression by trying harder, that’s not what I mean. I also do not want to say this so casually as though I don’t understand the devastating effects of mental ill health because I really do. I see it everyday in my job and I live it every day myself.
So I don’t have a choice in that bit, I realistically will always have at least a tendency towards depression and anxiety… it will always be there. But I can change my attitude. I can change the way I look at things, focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t. I can make small changes to make my life easier and potentially happier. It’s worth a shot at least.
The first thing I’m going to do is try to track my time for a couple of weeks. I want to find out where all my time goes because I really don’t know.
The second thing I really really want to achieve, is not snoozing my alarm. If I just got up when it went off instead of pressing snooze and going back to sleep, I know I’d have a better start to the day. I would be less drowsy, less rushed and less stressed. I’m going to make a really conscious effort with that this week – I’ll let you know how it goes.
If anyone has any tips on small changes to improve your life, let me know! I’d also love to hear any ideas about getting up in the morning – I’ve already got a sunrise clock so the room is bright when I wake up, and I’ve moved it across the room so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off, but I STILL SNOOZE IT AND GO BACK TO SLEEP!!