want wanted to be a psychologist, a clinical psychologist. Since I started studying psychology really, and definitely since I started having my own mental health issues.
And I know it’s competitive. And I always thought: Will I get good enough grades? Will I get through interviews? etc etc.
But maybe I’m not the right sort of person. I’m too emotional. I care too much. I don’t know if I’d be able to listen to people and not react to what they say – remain objective and professional, not emotional.
And my inability to make decisions… how could I possibly decide on a diagnosis? How could I recommend the right treatments, how could I decide where to start?
And besides how can I help anyone else when I can’t even help myself. A depressed psychologist? I doubt that would be very helpful.
I can’t do it. Not because I’m not good enough (although that is also highly likely) but because I’m the wrong sort of person. And you can work as hard as you like, learn interview skills, all of that… but if you’re not the right sort of person you’ll crack, if by some miracle you manage to make it through training in the first place.
There goes my life plan….