It’s like I’ve fallen into a deep abyss of darkness. Can’t see a way out.
I’ve only been feeling down a couple of days and it already feels terrible. I can’t do this again. I won’t.
I feel so lonely. No one has time for me at the moment. My parents are busy tonight. S is with 3 of my good friends. Everyone is busy except me. All my friends in Germany are busy too so I spent the day alone. I know it’s not good for me.
I wanted to get some work done but I didn’t. I feel like crap.
I watched a film. It was a German one. And I’ve been watching “my mad fat diary”. Not sure if I like it to be honest, just needed to pass the time.
I want to wake up tomorrow and feel better again but I can’t see it happening.
I don’t know what I’m going to do if it gets to Monday and I’m still feeling like this. I have responsibilities here, I have to go to work (school), then I have some tutoring sessions and then uni… it’s all busy busy busy. Maybe that’s a good thing though.
I just feel sad and I can’t explain it. It just hurts and it all feels so pointless. Everything.
I’m completely demotivated to do anything now. I can’t do it.
Where’s all my positivity gone? I was going to get somewhere, do something with my life… and now all of that is gone from my mind.
I’ve sat in bed for most of the day. I’ve cried. I’ve eaten some cadburys, that didn’t even cheer me up.
I just hate myself. That’s the thing really, and that’s the thing I can’t seem to get past.
Useless. Pointless. Waste of time. Burden. Not good enough. Never good enough.
Maybe I can sleep this negativity off….