I just read all the comments from my previous post. Everyone said it was a good idea NOT to contact him and that it’s great that I’m NOT contacting him…
But what did I do today?
I texted him. Stupidly.
I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. I felt like I just HAD to do it. I said congratulations, I don’t know why. I’m not happy for him, but I thought maybe I’ve been bitter for too long now, maybe he’s moving on with his life and he’s changed… maybe, maybe, maybe.
I HAD to tell him not to mess it up, not to treat her like he treated me. So I sent him a text saying basically that.
And he said “I don’t appreciate getting texts like that but thank you for the congratulations.”
I guess I was somehow hoping he was going to come out with an apology and that he’s changed and bla bla bla (as if that would fix this anyway.) But of course he didn’t. Because he’s a narcissist, he ignores anything wrong that he’s ever done, because nothing is ever his fault.
But in a way maybe I feel better. I feel like I’ve told him what I needed to tell him, and now it’s not my fault anymore (like it ever was!)
So even though I didn’t get the response I wanted/hoped for, I’m going to use it as evidence that I am better off without him anyway (and I know I am.)
Even though it hurts and even though my negative brain is trying to tell me that I’m not good enough and bla bla bla, I’m not going to let it get to me too much. Because it’s over. It’s all over and it’s never going to happen again, and no one is going to hurt me anymore.
And in a way this feels a bit more like closure. I’ve said everything I needed to say, and now I’m done.