Anyone reading my blog in April/May/June will already know that that was the dreaded exam season! Well yesterday was the (possibly even more dreaded) results day!
After this year, I don’t think it would be strange for me to expect to not have done that well on my exams. Although towards the end of the year and exams I was starting to feel better, it became clear during revision that my revision was in fact learning material (rather than revising it) and my concentration levels were just too low.
It’s no secret that I aim (too) high. I am a perfectionist, particularly with my academic work… so only a first would be “good enough” according to my brain.
But I did it. Despite all of the difficulties of the year, despite having exams that went quite badly (and results from these exams that aren’t great) there were also exams that I did very well in, bringing my aggregate score up to a first (just!) – but still, a first is a first!
So I did it. I got to my goal for the year. As soon as I saw my results I felt so strong. I felt like it was a big “fuck you” (excuse the language) to all the people who didn’t think I could do it and who made things difficult for me. It made me feel like the ex was wrong about me – I am not weak. I got through it, and came out with the grade I wanted.
So it seems that the mantra “I can and I will” was quite helpful, it kept me going. And now I can say “I can and I did!”