Just a moan about life really

There’s too much to do and never enough time.

So much coursework, and I haven’t done my CBT homework yet, and yet all I seem to want to do is sleep.

I am tired all the time. No amount of sleep seems to help.

I wish I could have a weekend off – no commitments, just sleep and lazing around. But I can’t.

There’s too much coursework, homework, work. And I’m helping on the university open day today, giving a tour of the university at 3. Oh dear. I’m still in my pajamas.

Time to get going and put a happy face on.

And tonight I’m volunteering. Can’t let them down now. Damn. Why do I agree to these things?

All I want is to hide in my bed by myself. No chance of that.

And tomorrow I need to do work. When am I going to get 4 pieces of coursework and revision for at least 2 exams done?

I don’t want to ask for any more extensions.

I just want to be able to do this. Feeling useless, and that probably isn’t helping matters.

Why do I have to be so disorganised and unproductive with my time? It’s like everything takes at least three times as long as it should. No wonder there aren’t enough hours in the day.

Urgh.

Just a moaning rant really. Sorry WP.

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10 thoughts on “Just a moan about life really

  1. Juliet says:

    It sucks! I know exactly how you’re feeling…at the moment I’m supposed to write two 12-15 pages long term papers and the deadline is March 15th and I haven’t even… well I’m about to start x_x
    I’m sure we’ll get there … we’ll manage this. Because we don’t really have a choice, do we? x_x
    Thinking of you after every new paragraph I’m about to write xx

  2. Jasmine says:

    Don’t be sorry for moaning, it’s a fundamental part of blogging 😉

    I wonder if the extra responsibilities you take on represent you subconsciously trying to lift yourself out of dark spells and stay productive? Sometimes you find it difficult to care about your own tasks when life seems hopeless, but I’ve noticed that you don’t consider staying in bed to be an option if the task is for somebody else (eg volunteering). It might be a positive step. Stop beating yourself up 🙂 xx

    • anxiouselephant says:

      Yes I think maybe you’re right, I don’t like letting people down so I’ll always do things for other people no matter how bad I feel. I am trying to keep going with everything and I want to feel better, but sometimes I probably take on too much. xx

  3. behindthemaskofabuse says:

    Here’s a thought, you can take it or leave it…you agree to these things in part because you have a hard time saying no (it’s trauma based), you want to believe you can, and you want to people please. Also you have the ex’s voices saying “you’re not good enough” You are even if you say “no”

    I suggest these out of my own experiences. Maybe right now the best thing for you would be to say “no” to extras, and look at it as taking care of your needs.

    lotsa love xo

    • anxiouselephant says:

      I think that is part of it. I never like to let people down and I always tend to do the things for other people even if I am feeling awful. Sometimes it’s a good thing because I end up feeling a bit better, but sometimes I end up feeling even worse. I do take on too much probably, should really try to say no to these extra things, but I don’t like letting people down, and also I know that if I was feeling “well” I would want to do these things, and I don’t want my depression/anxiety to stop me doing things! I think I’m going to try not to agree to more stuff in the near future and see how that goes! Thanks for your comment, makes a lot of sense! 🙂 xx

      • behindthemaskofabuse says:

        You know if you say “no” you are actually doing yourself and others a favor. When you’re doing things because you want to and not because you “should” it’s energizing for you and them, but when you’re doing it, out of “should’s: it’s draining for both.

  4. scienerf says:

    Moan away my dear you’re not the only one in that position! We all have to learn how to say ‘No’ to people rather than hurting ourselves by saying ‘Yes’. You might as well have been writing about my life in this post…one day we’ll manage to get a good nights sleep that makes us feel refreshed and actually get the work done that needs to be in the time we’re given! *sigh* one day 😉 xox

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