As you will know from my previous posts, I have been feeling really rubbish lately. In fact, for quite a long time. I am trying to keep going, and everyday I do the things I “should do” even though most of the time I don’t want to.
Today was a miserable day (weatherwise). It was freezing, and wet snow was falling from the sky. By this I mean it was in between snow and rain, and therefore both than either.
I dragged myself out of bed, late. It was 8:15am, and I was meant to be in a lecture at 9. Shit. (excuse my french*) So I dived into the shower, out again, pulled some clothes on and was out the front door before 8:40. I got on the bus at about 10 to 9, and amazingly I was only about 5 minutes late for my German class.
I then had about 4 hours to kill at uni. Did some work, did some googling, some facebooking, and wordpress reading, and then had another seminar. Then another gap, where I wrote a post about it never snowing in Lancaster. Ironically, less than half an hour after posting that, it started to snow, and not only that, but it started to settle. Unfortunately, I was almost instantly reminded of why snow is never as good as you expect it to be. The snow turned to slush on the ground. Cold and wet feet. Not impressed!
Anyway, I’m going to get to the actual point of this soon.
But long story short of this day, I did things I didn’t want to do because I “had to”.
Given the horrible weather, you can imagine that all I wanted to do once I got home was get in my pajamas and curl up in bed. But my friend was having a party tonight – a 90s rave! And, as all good friends would, I got my fluorescent pink tights on and went to the party.** It was pretty good – I enjoyed parts of it. I didn’t know many people so was feeling pretty anxious but I drank quite a bit and then I didn’t mind so much. In the cellar of their house they had music and a strobe light. This would usually put me on edge completely, but what do you know – after a few drinks it didn’t bother me too much.
I then persuaded my friend (cat lady***) to come to one of the clubs with me. Even though the weather was horrible, even though it was cold, even though we were tired, I had told my housemate (footballer) that I would meet her at the club, because I didn’t want her to end up on her own, and didn’t want her to have to walk home alone.
So anyway, we went and found footballer outside the club, and she was with her boyfriend. The society which we were going to the club with hadn’t arrived yet, so we went towards the bar where they were. We had nearly reached the bar when we saw the society coming the other way, towards the club.
At this point, footballer said she couldn’t be bothered and she was going home.
I was really annoyed. The only reason I came out was because of her. The only reason I dragged cat lady out was because of her. I was trying to be nice, but apparently that counts for nothing.
So she went home. I texted her asking what was going on and saying I’d only come out because of her.
Anyway, we went with the society to the club. Once we got in, we lost most of the others. A couple of my housemates from last year (Mr Smith and Mr Arrogance****) were there. We were with them for a bit, then they went off. Later, I saw Me Arrogance across the dancefloor, ran across, dodging lots of people, and told him where cat lady and I were, because he was on his own, and straight away he said he was going to look for someone else.
Well thanks a lot. Glad I’m last choice, as always.
I was very tempted to post on facebook saying “Glad I have such great “friends” in Lancaster”, but decided it would probably cause unnecessary drama, so am writing about it here instead.
I feel let down by my “friends” tonight. Everything I do is for other people pretty much. And do people treat me like I treat them? No they don’t. Obviously loyalty means nothing, and I don’t really matter to them.
I’m sick of being everyone’s last choice. It’s like they only “care” if there’s no one else they can be with. I seem to attract these types of people, I’ve seen it in my past, over and over again.
I’m fed up of giving so much when no one even notices.
Why are people so useless? Why can’t they see what’s right in front of them? They are all too wrapped up in their own little problems to see a “friend” falling apart.
Having said all this, I am lucky to have the friends that I have. Here in Lancaster, I only have a couple I can count on, but I still have my friends from back home, so for that I am grateful.
I always try to be nice to people, I’m always making the effort. What is wrong with me? I’m always an outsider. Never the one people like. No one would even notice if I left.
Damn. Was going to end the post here. Then I looked at the title and it reminded me – I still haven’t told the story which relates to the title. Sorry for the long post, but here goes (again)…
After a while at the club, cat lady and I decided to go home. We went to a take away shop, and she ordered some chips. While we were waiting, a random guy started talking to us. The usual stuff people say to make conversation – where are you from, what do you study, what’s your name etc. This is just a harmless, slightly drunk man – we’ll humour him.
Then at one point he said “I was thinking about asking whether the girl with pink tights comes with digits,” (presumably asking in a round about way for my number) at which point I must have said at least 5 different variations of the word “no”. He didn’t push it – it was fine. But then my friend, who had zoned out at this point suddenly said “what? … I like rainbows.” I found this hilarious, and as soon as the man had left the shop I had to tell cat lady what happened. We laughed about it together.
This reminds me of another incident involving a guy… I think a post is needed for the worst/most interesting chat up lines/attempts to get with a girl that I have experienced or witnessed! Stay tuned for that one, will probably end up writing it as procrastination from my lab report!!
Ok, so that’s my night. I walked home by myself. Now I’m in bed. Night night WP!
Lots of love,
*I always wonder why we say that phrase!
**please note, the pink tights were not the only item of clothing I wore!
*** can’t remember if that’s what I’ve called her on my “people I talk about” page, but that should be her name here. Last year in German we did a presentation about the accusative case which heavily featured cats, so we now call each other cat ladies.
****Again, can’t remember what name I’ve given him. But this one suits him.