Spring Awakening

**Trigger warning**

**Spoiler warning: Spring Awakening**

I went to see my friend (Mr Smith) perform in our University’s production of Spring Awakening tonight. All of the actors/actresses were fantastic, and I was shocked (in a good way) by my friend’s singing and acting skills!

I would like to say I had a great evening. I was watching it with my group of friends who I lived with last year, and it was nice to see everyone again, and Mr Smith did so well! But…

I hadn’t seen Spring Awakening before, and I hadn’t read a synopsis, so had no idea what I had let myself in for when I bought a ticket to see it. I wish I had known, because then maybe it wouldn’t have shocked me so much.

There is a scene in the play where two of the characters (Wendla and Melchior) are talking about another character (Martha) who is being abused by her father, in the form of beatings. Wendla then says she has never been beaten and asks Melchior to beat her with a switch so that she can know how it feels. Well, Melchior gets carried away with it and ends up throwing Wendla to the floor.

And this is the point where I freaked out. It was like going back in time and watching myself. It put me back in the place where the ex was there. I couldn’t help bursting into tears, which must’ve looked very strange to other members of the audience. I was on edge after that, scared, and wanted more than anything to curl up in my nice safe warm duvet.

I wondered why I had gone to see this show; clearly I can’t even do a simple thing like that without freaking out – pathetic.

Luckily the interval was not too long after that, so I managed to calm myself down and not go into complete panic (which would’ve been bad.) I did contemplate leaving, but I didn’t want to let Mr Smith down, and besides I had paid for this ticket!

Having calmed down, I got back to watching the show. It was all done really well, even though the storyline itself is quite confusing, and leaves lots of loose ends. I wonder if maybe that is the point of it though; it shows that most things in life don’t have proper closure, and in the case of Martha, the abuse is not mentioned again – so nothing happened, nothing was resolved.

By the end of the show, I was feeling pretty tired out. It was incredibly intense, and discussed so many issues, all in one play! Spring Awakening touches on the topics of: physical (child) abuse, sexual abuse, abortion, teenage pregnancy, homosexuality, rape, love and suicide. It was a hell of a lot to take in all at once!!

By the end of the show 2 of the original characters are dead, and another one is on the verge of suicide. The first death is the suicide of Moritz (played by Mr Smith), he takes a gun, puts it in his mouth and then shoots – then the lights go down. The way that Moritz was portrayed in the scene leading up to this was very realistic (in my opinion.) I could see the anger, pain and fear that he was going through – even though this was just a musical/not real!

Towards the end of the show, Wendla discovers she is pregnant and her mother is horrified, as Wendla is not married. Her mother takes her to a “doctor” who presumably carries out surgery to abort the baby. However, things don’t go to plan, and Wendla dies. When Melchior discovers her gravestone, it says “died of Anemia”, which further demonstrates that in the play, the adults only care about what other people think of them – hence why Wendla’s mother tries to get rid of the baby in the first place.

I could go on and on analysing parts of the play, but you could just go and watch it and make your own judgement. But from what I’ve said already, I think it’s safe to say that Spring Awakening is a very hard-hitting, emotional and intense show.

Do I wish I hadn’t gone? No. I’m glad I went because it was great to see Mr Smith doing something he really enjoys, and I wanted to support him. However, in future I think I might just read a Wikipedia synopsis before I go to see the next show – that way I know what is coming!

I guess the point of this post is that this was just another reminder that even though the ex is out of my life, I am still very much affected by things that happened in the past. (And confirms that counselling is probably necessary.)


14 thoughts on “Spring Awakening

  1. aallegoric says:

    I’m so sorry you had a hard time… this is like my worst nightmare whenever I watch an unknown theatre play and I’m so scared of having that happen because I know I’d probably freak out really bad too. I feel for you. I’m glad you stayed and could calm down again. Take care. Hugs for you xx

  2. Brandon Bored says:

    I can see how that must have been so hard for you at times but, I’m glad you were able to calm yourself enough to sit through the remainder and support your friend.

    We’re all affected by our past and, yes, counselling is one way through which we can begin to face and overcome our fears. I hope it works for you. 🙂

  3. jiltaroo says:

    Wow, that does sound full on! However, despite your obvious struggle (understandable), you have really made some excellent points about the musical that make a lot of sense even though I haven’t even seen it. Perhaps it is a wake up that you do need some counselling babe. xx

      • jiltaroo says:

        You are strong, I know that, but sometimes these things take a toll. Sometimes, it is because you are strong and can’t understand how something like this can go so far beyond your control. I know. Lots of love and support. jen xx

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