I don’t have any motivation at the moment.
I knew the next low would come soon, but when I first got back to Lancaster I actually felt better than I had in a while… And suddenly, the depression is back.
I am so so tired, although that definitely has something to do with freshers week. Being a frep was a bad idea, I took on too much (again.) My moods are too unpredictable for this, and at the moment I’m going through an achy phase where I don’t even feel like getting up (but I do) and I’m in constant pain pretty much.
I don’t have the motivation (or the time really) to write anything of interest at the moment. The 30 day challenges are on hold. I have a lot of blogs to catch up with, and I will – when I have time.
It’s only Tuesday and freshers week continues until Sunday. It’s not a week, it’s 9 days! Then uni starts properly on Monday. I’m not ready, not like this. I wanted this year to be so different, but it seems like it might well be the same.
Just got to keep going, keep surviving, and then eventually hopefully I’ll get to actually LIVE.
I’m knackered, I want to sleep, but I’m waiting for a repair man to fix some drawers in my room so I can’t. He said between 10 and 11, so here I am awake and sitting downstairs. It’s 10:43 now, I hope he comes soon. I want to go back to sleep.
Hope everyone else is doing better!!
This is just a quick update and some thoughts from my swirling mind, I want to come back soon – properly. My page views are very low since I’ve not been writing much, not that it really matters I suppose. Anyway, I am off to do nothing, because that’s what I do best at the moment!