Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
I know things are really hard for you at the moment. I’ve tried to be there for you, but you rarely reply. I know you’re busy with W*, and that you’re struggling with social anxiety and depression but if you push people away how can we be there for you?
I’m so sorry to hear that your mum is in hospital. I’m thinking of you and your family, and I really hope and pray that she gets better. I know you have too much to deal with at the moment but hold on.
You have people around you that care about you. I know F** tried to overdose, but she didn’t manage to – she’s still here. She’s still your best friend and she’s there for you, just like you are for her. I hope C*** is supporting you through these hard times – everything bad seems to have come at once.
Try to find joy in your life, you still have W and C, and your mum will make it, I can feel it. I hope your dad has recovered now too, I know he was in hospital too recently. Such a lot to deal with, I wish I could give you a hug. I wish I could take all this pain away from you. I wish I could fix it all for you.
You probably forget I exist most of the time. We’ve barely spoken since college, and besides your attendance was appalling! (Ok, so you were pregnant at the time so I guess that’s a decent excuse!) I saw you this summer and it was so nice to catch up, and to see how much W has grown in just a year!
I hope your doctors are giving you the help you need. You are on antidepressants, but you think, and I also think that you might be bipolar instead. I hope your referral comes through quickly and that they’re able to help you.
I’m so sorry that life has dealt you a shitty hand at the moment. Things will get better, keep hoping and believing, and remember I am always there for you if you need me, or if you just want to talk. We suffer from many of the same symptoms (tiredness, depression, anxiety, sometimes being scared to leave the house, fear of failure… the list goes on.) We’re not that different, you and I and I miss us being in regular contact.
I’ll keep trying, and keep hoping for you. Things will improve, there is hope!****
Lots of love
**her best friend
*** her boyfriend and W’s dad
**** borrowed this phrase from Buckwheats risk!