Nothing

I can’t seem to do anything.

I am irritable and sad.

I’m doing nothing. Trying to catch up reading blogs and I can’t even concentrate mostly. Can’t even summon the energy to write comments. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care, I do.

I want to be there for everyone, I want to get back to “normal.”

But “normal” is so far away from my reality now. I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t do my uni work. I don’t know if it’s worth even trying.

There’s no point in doing any of it if I can’t do all of it. If I don’t do all of it, I can’t finish the year. Simple as that.

My room is a mess. I can’t get the motivation to tidy it.

I tidied downstairs earlier, my boyfriend helped and I was “ok” then. But he’s gone now and I don’t want to do anything.

My friends are coming round later. I don’t feel up to it. The parents are away so I normally have friends round – we drink, chat and sometimes play singstar or just dance, but I have no energy today.

Don’t want to let them down by cancelling it though.

I might not get to see all of them again before I go back uni. If I go back.

I need to get my work done. Why has it become so bloody difficult to concentrate?

This isn’t even what I want to do anymore. None of it is.

I want to close my curtains, turn off the lights and hide in bed. Again.

Give me a break. I just want to do nothing.